I confess...

Dear readers, I am sorry to say that I am, so far, not on schedule. At all. I am not failing! I am just rather far behind.

It's day 13, and I should be at just over 21,000 words. Currently, I'm at just over 7,000. And it's taken me till this moment to realize why.

This entire time, I've been gearing up to blow a publisher's mind out of the water. I've been writing this like I've written everything in the past--editing as I go, trying to make everything sound ridiculously awesome. If you need to write a ten page short story in a night, that works just fine. But with a novel, you have too many things going on at once to try to make that method work. I'm just now realizing (even though this kit has been trying to hammer it in my brain, that this first draft will be absolute shit. And I have to be okay with that.

No one wants to put their name on something that's shit. They don't want it to be on a shelf, they won't tell their friends about it, and they'll never want to be recognized for it in any way. If I ever published something that I felt was indeed complete shit, I'd probably change my name, change my appearance, move to a different country, and live as a hermit.

But this round, I must accept the fact that I will write absolutely, positively, horrendously awful shit.

This novel will probably change sixty times before I take it to a publisher, then change a few more (give it five, if I'm lucky) before they accept it, then another ten or so until it's ready for the press--then I'll probably have to change it again after the first test audience.

I can start of with pretty much dirt, as long as I have faith in that dirt. You know, most people would go with that whole "make sure there's some seeds in that dirt, then keep tending to it blah blah blah happy cliche garden of happy" metaphor. Don't get me wrong, that's definitely true.

But here's what I'm thinking. If you start with dirt, you've got something. I mean, you make sure it's good dirt--not too dusty, not too wet, and not in a place that's been a dumping ground for toxic waste. Got that? Good. Leave it alone for a few months. When you come back, you'll see the weeds that you kinda saw before, but didn't wanna deal with right then. Only now, they're pretty freaking big and ugly. So you find something that can be used as a vase and throw 'em in that to take home to that neighbor who thinks anything that grows is a flower.

You've got a pretty good plot of land, there! See that random stack of wood that appeared with a toolbox beside it, that definitely wasn't there before? Yup. You're gonna use it. You might build a seesaw that doesn't really work, or a table that won't stay steady. Ideally, though, you'll make a platform floor. When you're done--leave. Yep, leave. You come back again and find that some of the wood is flimsy, some of the nails popped, and it's not quite the shape you want it. So you fix it till you find a good shape, seal it in, then work on some walls. You see where we're going?

No, you're not just making a house, silly! YOU'RE MAKING A SUPER AWESOME CLUBHOUSE OF AMAZINGNESS AND HAPPINESS! (sponsored by unicorns). But if you hadn't made sure the dirt was exactly right, you might've had termites or mold or some other crap by like, month 6! And then you have to start all over, just delaying your SACoAaH!

In order to motivate myself (and you!), I'm making a list of things that are good for my dirt. You know, to make sure I'm getting the right dirt and all.
•Mud Pie Makeability: is it the proper texture for mudpies when given just enough water? [can you make this go somewhere, structure wise? Will this be an interesting thing, stylistically, to read after a few edits?]
•Map Drawing Capability: can you draw a good treasure map with it with a twig without it breaking and without the map being hard to read? [does this have any remote possibility of an actual plot?]
•Stain Making Probability: does it have a high or low probability for stains? (you want high! Messy people are more creative!) [will people remember this? Will it stick in their minds or wash away?]
•Footprint Maintenance: can it hold a footprint long enough for Gibbs and the rest of the NCIS crew to come investigate? [Can you get good tension in there, potentially?]

If the answer to any of these is yes, your dirt is most definitely on the right track.

Tomorrow (er, today when I awake) the writing shall commence. Avast!